Pinterest, Mexican Barbie, breastfeeding and bottle feeding, rear or front facing, just a few of the many topics I’ve seen argued over the past few months. It starts with (what should be) simple parenting choices and finds a way to spill over into every other facet of our lives. Is Matel making Barbie politically correct these days? Did some mean-spirited, over-achieving mother create a website designed to make other mothers feel inadequate?

And on and on it snowballs out of control. So out of control that it sometimes feels like we need to take a side on every single thing that comes along.

I can’t help but think we might be raising a generation of defensive children, rather than a generation of confident children. A generation who will come at every choice with an argument as to why they are right and you are wrong.

Because that’s what we’re showing them.

How do we change that? How can we break the cycle of defense and debate that surrounds our choices as parents?

I think we can do this only by showing confidence in our decisions. Social media plays such a huge role in our lives. With one swipe of my phone, I can scroll through a news feed that includes parents from every part of the country and from many different socioeconomic backgrounds. Technology puts the choices of thousands of other parents at my fingertips. It’s easy to get caught up in feeling guilty or judgmental. In these times, I always try to keep in mind that we’re all incredibly different.

But, most of us have one thing in common; we’re making the best choice for our children, we’re doing what we have come to know our children need or want.

If that is the case, if we’re making the choice that is truly the best for choice for our children, in our own situation, there is no room for debate.

It’s important to own the decisions we make as parents. I remember when I switched BK from front to rear facing a month or two shy of her second birthday, I didn’t want to discuss it with anyone. I knew there would be backlash and snide blog comments. I didn’t switch her simply because I thought it was more aesthetically pleasing for the car seat to be facing forward. I switched her because for the week prior, she would scream and cry every single time we went anywhere in the car. She would crane her little neck to try to see what was going on behind her. In this situation, I truly knew it was best for her to be front-facing, it was best for anyone in the car, too.

And when someone would ask, instead of telling them when I switched her, I would tell them that whole story first.

I would defend my parenting choice. A choice that didn’t need defending.

I have a three-year-old now, and I know that she picks up on every little thing we do and say. That her mood is affected by our moods, that her feelings feed off of our feelings. This defensive attitude is not something I want to pass down. I want her to see that we make choices based on what is best for us, not because we worry about what others might think. I want her to know that there is a time and place to stand up for what she believes in, to be confident in her choices, but there isn’t a time to make others feel bad or less because it’s different than our way.

Today, I want to encourage you (as I’m encouraging myself, too) to confidently stand behind the choices you make as a mother, to refuse to believe that all choices equal debates.

• I found a mixed CD circa 2005 and played it on my way to run a few errands Saturday. Hello, Lil’ John, Yin Yang Twins and Nelly. I surprised myself by knowing each and every single word to the songs. I’d like to request that those lyrics vacate the premises so I can actually remember what I need to do on a daily basis. How does that work?

• I don’t watch too much television these days. I haven’t skipped an episode of my Grey’s Anatomy (how good was that finale?) or Heart of Dixie. Everyone has me itching to start Scandal, is it really good? I’ll probably catch up on RHOC and start Scandal this summer.

• I need your best Disney tips. What are my must-see and must-do things? What do you wish you would have done differently? I’m ready for any and all advice that you have. Our trip is quickly approaching, I’m talking like 3 weeks away and I’m beginning to stress just a tiny bit. 

• I posted this video to Facebook, and I thought I would share it with y’all, too. I bought a set of U.S. President flash cards for my class. When they came in the mail, BK laid claim to them, she called the the “man” cards. She kept carrying them around with her and wanted to the know “the names of the mans.” We explained to her that they were actually our presidents, and we started telling here who they were. It took a few days for her to know the first 8 and to be able to tell me the last name (when I say the first name) to the first 25 or so. Now, we’re up to 16 and going strong. Confession: I’m actually learning some of them with her, her memory is definitely better than mine. I can’t believe how quickly she remembers the names.

• I still have a few of your questions to answer, I haven’t forgot, you’ll be seeing them over the next week or so.

• I need a tan in such a bad way. My legs are embarrassingly white and tanning the old fashion way or in a tanning bed isn’t going to happen. Does anyone have a self tanner that you really love? Something fool-proof, because I’ve been known to turn myself orange on occasion.

• Let’s talk about twins and baby brothers and sisters. The other day, BK told our waiter, “my mommy is having twins, one baby brother and one baby sister is in her belly.” Fact, there are zero baby brothers or sisters in my belly. She also told her teacher at school that I was having a baby, a baby sister, to be exact. She is enamored by the idea of having a sibling, when we’re out and about she points out other children with siblings and says things like, “look at that boy he has one baby brother, but there is only one Braylen at my house.”

• Truth is, there might be twins at this house. Look at the side-by-side picture below, that’s me on the left and BK on the right. Twins? 

• Don’t forget to come back and link-up with us tomorrow for the Build ‘Em Up series. We’ll have more topics soon, I love this series and hope we  keep it up in the weeks to come.

• End of Year- Teacher’s Gifts by Amy at Total Tippins Take Over- This post is loaded with great ideas and tons of printables, Amy is so creative. I’m definitely bookmarking this post for next year. 

• the reasons I celebrate by Erin at Blue-Eyed Bride- I love Erin’s heart and the way she talks about being a mother to her boys.

• Skinny Chicken Fajitas from Skinnytaste- Anytime someone uses the word skinny and the name of my favorite Mexican dish in the same phrase, they have my attention. I think we’ll try these out next week.

• Living with marble countertops, a cautionary tale by Edie at Life In Grace- Erin shared this post a few weeks ago, but I just had to share it too. Many of you know that Allen has a natural stone countertop business. We are switching out the countertops in our kitchen, because the house we bought has 2cm granite instead of 3cm. Such a teeny-tiny detail that we probably wouldn’t even fret over, except Allen’s profession is countertops and he wants to change it up. My heart (not my mind, this is deeper than that) is set on an Alabama White marble kitchen and I’m convinced I’ll spend the rest of our marriage trying to convince Allen to oblige. I’m living vicariously through Edie’s beautiful countertops, because I’m not sure that I’ll ever be able to talk Allen into marble in our kitchen.

• Be The Match- #teamwill by Sarah at Life Sweet Life- Sarah wrote an amazing post and Lindsey and her sweet Will who is need of a match for a bone marrow transplant, please take a minute to read it and consider the Be The Match foundation.

After our graduation was over, I headed to BK’s school to see her end of the year program. She and I should probably have a real talk about how to stand on stage and not pull up her dress the whole time. That comes with age, right? Right?

At least she gave everyone a good laugh. Three is such a fun and unpredictable age, and when I say that I mean, she’ll always be having fun, we just don’t always know how she’ll be doing it. I was just incredibly thankful that I laid a pair of shorts out for her to wear under the dress.

This year has flown by, but I’m positive we made a great choice by enrolling her for two days a week. She’s had a great time making new friends and really fallen in love with her teachers. She actually keeps telling us that this isn’t her last day. We have really seen her blossom over the past year and I adore that spunky little personality that always manages to find herself front and center. 

Here’s a little look at how much she’s grown.

We had Cheesecake Factory for lunch, it’s my favorite and I ordered my go-to dish, White Bean Chicken Chili. I have a half-piece of White Chocolate Macadamia Nut and Caramel Cheesecake waiting in my fridge, I didn’t want to indulge until after I went shopping for a new swim suit. It didn’t help, by the way. 

I also bought my Mother’s Day gifts. Well, I asked for a little retail therapy for Mother’s Day, so I actually spent that money on a few things. Like Chaco’s for our upcoming Disney trip and a new swim suit. I have plenty of one-piece choices from over the years and I’m basically my pre-pregnancy size. The problem is, I need something that I can chase a toddler in and not worry about making adjustments or giving anyone more than they bargained for, I think this sea foam crochet one-piece is the perfect option. Also, it is super flattering, I couldn’t pass it up.

I’ve had the best day with my sweet family, now I’m off to eat that cheesecake.

4:00- Alarm goes off. I’ve been getting up this early since Blissdom and I never like it, I thought I might magically turn into a morning person. No, doesn’t work that way (or it hasn’t yet). I made my way to the computer to blog at about 4:20, cup of coffee in hand, and wrote. Ideally, I’d like to be a few days ahead, but right now I’m writing the post for the day. I make a juice for breakfast, 4 carrots, 1 apple, 1 cup spinach leaves, read Jesus Calling, put dinner in the crock-pot and make a grocery list.

5:50- I start to get ready and I’m out the door at 6:55, headed to school. BK is still sleeping when I leave.

7:25- My day starts at school. The year is coming to a close, so our schedule isn’t typical. After reading block, I test for report cards, teach a lesson on three-dimensional shapes, start a writing workshop, practice for kindergarten graduation (twice). I had half of this Naked Protein Juice Smoothie for lunch. I’m in my car by 3:32, since I have to stop by the grocery store. Sunday is  typically grocery shopping day, but it was Mother’s Day, so I had to make my usual Publix run after school.

4:30- I’m home from the grocery store. Our neighbor is here playing with Braylen, they are getting along great and continue to play while I quickly put away the groceries. Then, of course, I change clothes. My work clothes last all of 20 minutes in the evenings. My hair usually goes straight in a ponytail and I’ve laid claim to Allen’s Polo tees, they are the softest shirts ever. Those Lululemon Groove pants call my name and I can’t resist the comfort. Every single day, I end up like this. I’m sure my husband is thrilled with my wardrobe choices. Actually, he couldn’t care less, I think he just wants his shirts back.  

 5:00′ish- We head outside to play. Allen worked in the yard all evening. Between the playhouse and whatever it is that he is doing to our yard, he stayed busy. (He’s really making our back yard a little bigger by clearing off a little more land that is grown up with underbrush and weeds, it just looks like a big mess at the present.) Lately, he’s been working on BK’s play-set, but since he had the equipment today, he worked on a different project. BK and I hung out outside, drew with sidewalk chalk and played on her swing-set, then I suggested going in to play because I needed to put away a little laundry.

6:05- We played upstairs in the playroom and she wanted to put together a leggo set, then play dress-up. When I came down to finish dinner, she found these two limes and said, “Mom, I found two wuacamole’s, you want the one with a sticker or the one with no sticker.”

6:40- I finish prepping dinner and put away the laundry. Confession: My sweet nanny usually leaves my laundry looking like that picture below, I just come home and put it away. It is such a huge time saver, she’s always doing little things around the house that help me in a big way. We ate dinner on the back deck, the roast from earlier with brown rice and roasted carrots.

7:30- Bathtime and bedtime. BK picked out those three books to read before bedtime. Even though she knows every word to Goodnight Moon, she usually chooses it a few times each week. Allen and I usually switch up the nightly duties. If I give her a bath, he’ll clean the kitchen or the other way around. The kitchen is the room in the house that has to be cleaned, daily. A clean sink is basically a non-negotiable.

8:30 After Braylen was settled in bed, I did a quick ab workout (250 total resps, a mixture of crunches, jack-knife sit-ups, leg raises, scissor kicks, bicycles), and a 2 minute plank and wall sit. I picked out Braylen’s clothes for the next day and read a little before getting in bed around 9:45.

Working is such a tough subject for me. I had time home with Braylen and loved that time, I interviewed on a whim for a teaching position and got the job. I didn’t really know if I was ready to go back to work, but I knew I missed working and interacting with the children. I absolutely love teaching and I certainly missed things about it when I was staying home with Braylen. In my head, I thought this would make everything right, I would go back to work and fill that space in my life that really wanted to be in a classroom, teaching. Don’t get me wrong, it did. Now? I miss staying home with Braylen, most days. I have an excellent schedule and we are fortunate that Braylen gets to go to MDO twice a week for a few hours and she stays at home, with my nanny, on the other days. I don’t know that there is a clear-cut answer. The grass isn’t greener on either side and both roles left me missing some part of the other role.

I don’t have regrets about this role, but I’m still figuring out just what I want to do once we have more children. I can’t say with clarity what I’ll be doing in 5 years, I know that as the seasons change, the dynamic could change, too. I’m ready for whichever role feels right at the time.

I try to maintain a balance of eating healthy, while still allowing myself to have the things that I love. I think eating right is a balance and I can usually keep it in check. I know I can’t eat cupcakes, pasta, and bread every day and still fit into my favorite jeans. I try to include lots of filling fruits, lean protein, whole-wheat choices, in my diet each day. It’s getting close to summer, I’m really limiting my carbs these days and I need to start logging my  food into My Fitness Pal, because it always holds me accountable. As far as working out, I try to do some type of cardio at least 3 days each week, an Insanity video or running on the treadmill are my go-to’s. Then, I like to focus on some muscle group 6 out of 7 days. This isn’t always the case, but that would be my ideal week. Here’s what that looked like last week:

• Monday- (I’m doing a plank and wall sit challenge this month) Plank, wall sit, abs (250 reps of various ab workouts, I don’t follow anything specific, I just aim for that number)
• Tuesday- plank, wall sit, legs (3 sets of 15 reps of various leg workouts, a combination of lunges, squats, high knees, ski jumps, squat jumps)
• Wednesday- plank, wall sit, abs (100 reps), legs (3 sets of 15 lunges, ski jumps and squats), arms/shoulders (3 sets of 15 dips, push-ups, dumb-bell curls)
• Thursday- plank, wall sit, arms (3 sets of 15 reps bicep curls, plyo push-ups, tricep dips, chest press, back rows)
• Friday- plank, wall sit, ab workout from Monday
• Saturday- plank, wall sit, arms/legs combo
• Sunday- Rest

I didn’t do Insanity any last week, had I worked out with an Insanity video, I wouldn’t have targeted a muscle group for that day. Insanity is enough, more than enough, actually.

We love Dave Ramsey, putting it into practice was much easier to Allen than it was for me. I think you have to really do it full-on to get accustom to the plan. Just start with what you think you’ll spend, put it in the envelopes and try it for a month. Then, adjust the next month. We have a good understanding of how much money we need for certain areas, now, but that took a few months of trial and error. It’s a true lifestyle change and it really takes some getting used to. My biggest advice would be to stick with it, you’ll love the benefits and freedom it gives you in the end.

I included my workout plan above. As far as eating healthy the meals, the key for me is prep. I eat bad and make unhealthy choices when I don’t plan ahead. I try to make all of our meals more healthy by using whole-wheat ingredients, when available. I substitute sour-cream and heavy cream with plan Greek yogurt, and use lean proteins. I also try not to buy a ton of processed foods, I don’t have enough will-power to have Oreo’s in the pantry all of the time.

Also, this post answered the book question

School lunches are easy for me, if I plan ahead. Here’s a peek at some of my lunches. I use the same Easy Lunchboxes containers that I use for Braylen’s lunch, they make packing lunch quick and easy. I haven’t been as good about packing my lunch the past few months, our school does serve healthy choices, lots of baked chicken, sweet potatoes, salad. It’s not too difficult to eat healthy if I do forget to pack my lunch.

Some of my favorites are pictures above. Mixed salad greens with strawberries, feta cheese, and smoked chicken. Brown rice with shredded parmesean cheese, grilled chicken and an apple. Whole wheat tortilla with grilled chicken, feta cheese, and melons. One of my favorites is a lettuce wrap with turkey, cucumber and hummus. I especially love these wraps during the summer.

I take 1/2 sandwiches a good bit. Whole wheat bread with turkey and cheddar or in this case, chicken salad (made with apples, pecans and greek yogurt) with fruit. If I’ve had a big breakfast, a Lara bar is a perfect mid day fix. Another salad with pecans and dried cranberries and turkey. The last picture is when I was really on top of planning and prepping. Brown rice and grilled chicken, pre-measured and ready for the week. This also makes an easy dinner if Allen is working late and I don’t want to cook.

For me, planning and prepping my food in advance is the key to me taking my lunch and eating healthy. When I’m given a choice, it’s hard for me to stay away from the unhealthy option. That goes back to willpower, know where I can find any?

Here are a few other posts from my archives you might find helpful:

Bulk Cooking- Prepping meals in advance. 

Paleo Options

So What Do You Eat On Paleo? 

]]> http://www.lifeinthegreenhouse.com/2013/05/healthy-lunch-options.html/feed 4 http://www.lifeinthegreenhouse.com/2013/05/makeup-must-haves.html http://www.lifeinthegreenhouse.com/2013/05/makeup-must-haves.html#comments Thu, 09 May 2013 13:57:46 +0000 Jennifer http://www.lifeinthegreenhouse.com/?p=2784 Today, I’m answering the question about my makeup must-have’s. I did a post here about my makeup bag, but my makeup bag changes from time to time and I have some new products that I absolutely love. Let’s take a look at my top 10 makeup and beauty list.

I teach kindergarten, the grade I never thought I wanted to teach. Now that I’m here, I love it and it’s hard to see myself teaching any other grade. I have always wanted to be a teacher, my mom has work from elementary school as proof. I teach about 20 minutes from my house, so it’s not the school Braylen is zoned to attend. However, she can attend the elementary school that I teach at, if I choose that route. 

1. I haven’t been to New Orleans, we need to fix that.
2. This is tough, you know I’m incredibly indecisive. I’d probably miss the window of opportunity while trying to decide. More than likely, pasta with fresh bread.
3. A great pair of flats, Seven Dojo jeans, my favorite little black dress, DVF wrap dress, and a colorful tunic. Maybe? That would be tough!
4. Stay tuned… this is coming tomorrow.

We let her CIO very early on, but let me say that she was such a good sleeper that she would only cry when we put her down for bed. We didn’t have any problems with her working up multiple times during the night. Then, she started teething and we broke the routine and never really established a great routine again after that. It’s one thing I would do differently. Now, I (or Allen) read her a story before bed, and she usually falls asleep shortly after. She definitely wants us to be right there with her. We’ve recently talked about transitioning away from this and I think she would be just fine, I might miss that sweet time though.

Sometimes I think I have to be careful to not expect her to do the same things my kindergartners do. Seriously, she’s smart and independent and I have to remind myself that she’s only three. She has simple tasks like putting her dishes in the sink, picking up her shoes, putting her toys away. We worked really hard on not having a complete meltdown when she couldn’t get things to work or open something, she’s really good about that now. I think most of the rules are simple things that we embed daily, saying please and thank you, waiting her turn to talk, playing nice with others (sharing), television and iPad time boundaries.

Oh Jillian, you would be so disappointed. It’s hit or miss. I try to exercise every day but I don’t always use Insanity. I do need to share a picture update because there has definitely been progress.

I’m going to answer the working out and eating question later this week. There’s a list of my favorite books from 2011 here and 2012 here. Recently, I’ve read Unglued, Start, Heaven is For Real, Kisses for Katie, and Safe Haven.  All of the books were great reads.

It is definitely in our plan to have more children. I never really put any pressure on myself to have a certain age gap between children, I just always thought I would know when the timing was right. This time as a family of three has been precious to me, I wouldn’t trade my time with her for anything. I know that we when bring a second baby into the mix, the dynamic will shift and that’s a little scary to me. It’s hard for me to think about leaving this season behind, but at the same time, I know there is an even sweeter season to come. Braylen is currently obsessed with having a baby brother or sister, she has told her teachers at MDO that I’m expecting and recently told a waiter, “I’m getting twins, one baby brother and one baby sister.” She has a big imagination. We’ll see what the next year holds.

I’ll continue to answer the questions throughout this week and into the next.

When I think about my unglued moments, I think of my life in the same way I pack my suitcase. I’m the one sitting on top of the suitcase, trying tirelessly to zip it closed beneath me, sweating. Just as I get it zipped and whisper a thank you to the zipper because it didn’t burst at the seams, I spot the rest of my things in the bathroom. I haven’t packed a single ounce of make-up, no curling iron, no brush. Nada.

I sometimes get caught up in these cycles and I begin to live my life much like I try to pack my suitcase. If I can just fit everything inside, just get it to zip, if I can just tuck everything away, then it will all work out just fine. Never mind the bursting seams, they haven’t actually ripped yet. I should be able to make it just fine. I pile everything inside and it works for a little while. I’m checking ten hours worth of things off of a to-do list that I managed to complete in under eight hours, because that was all of the time I had left.

Then, I catch something out of the corner of my eye. Something I didn’t get to finish, something that was bigger than I had anticipated, something that was left out.

The seam rips, and this is the point in which I generally come unglued.

When I’m packing, I have an easy fix. I simply walk upstairs to the guest bedroom closet and get the next size up. Life doesn’t work the same way, the fix doesn’t seem so easy in the midst of the problem. Emotions are swirling, tears are coming, and sometimes there isn’t a clear and easy way to solve the dilemma. Instead of playing it cool, I tend to let my emotions get the best of me. I say things that I don’t really mean, I let the people I love most absorb the shock of my out of control emotions.

Just last Friday, I left downtown too late and found myself right in the middle of horrible traffic. I didn’t plan well, I tried to fit in one too many things and I paid the price. Also, I had no idea how to get home. Allen calls in the midst of my chaotic moment and I tell him where I am, he offers a quick fix, but then I miss the exit he tells me to take. Traffic is horrible, I just need to say that again so you understand my frustrations. Horrible, y’all. I get off on the next exit, to get back on the interstate and wouldn’t you know, I chose the most congested exit known to man. Apparently, the exit that all 18-wheelers had to get off at, too. Oh, and in the middle of missing my exit, I tell Allen (not so kindly) that I have to get off the phone with him because he’s causing me to be even more lost. Yes, the one person who was trying to help. Sweet Braylen is saying over and over that she needs to tell me her ABC’s, and I’m panicked, at a standstill and lost. So this is what I say to her: Mommy can’t listen to your ABC’s right now because your daddy got us lost in a scary place. 

Yes, I did.

What went wrong? How did that seemingly perfect Friday turn into an emotional disaster in a matter of minutes? I let emotions get the best of me and I took it out on two people who had absolutely nothing to do with my poor planning and non-existent sense of direction. Then, I had nearly 40 minutes to sit in traffic and think about my unglued moment, while BK slept in the backseat. I felt bad, I was kicking myself, I knew better than that.

For me, there isn’t a one-stop fix for my emotionally unglued moments. They happen sometimes, I always walk away feeling defeated, even if there isn’t anyone around. You better believe something is going to be on the receiving end as my seams unravel. Like that time I couldn’t figure out why the dishwasher wouldn’t close, but I was running late for work, so I shut it over and over until I saw that the handle to the pot had moved just enough to catch the edge of the drawer. Thankfully, those crazed moments are few and far between, but they are just as hard to deal with afterwards.

Here’s the thing I’ve learned, anytime I come unglued I have two choices. I can learn from it and do better next time or I can let it weigh me down and carry it with me. I used to do the latter, that’s where imperfect progress comes into to play. I’m getting better, I’m not perfect, but I’m making progress. In my crazed, emotional-charged states, I’ve had some powerful prayer sessions. What I know now is those moments don’t define me, how I react to them and how I learn from them are what is most important to my progress, albeit imperfect.

And yes, I let her sing me the ABC’s as soon as she woke up. Lucky for me, she doesn’t hold a grudge.
 

Lysa TerKeurst was so kind to donate a prize package. Just leave a comment on this post and I’ll randomly choose a winner from the comments. There will be one winner chosen from each blog so you can also enter on Kelly, Erin, and Courtney’s blog. Prize bundle includes Unglued book, Unglued devotional and key tags.

The book is SO worth the read. You can get the bundle at a discounted price here.