If I could sum up the common theme for last years blog post is would be: Time, please slow down. There are times when I don’t want things to change anymore. I don’t want time to pass so quickly. I don’t want to start a new season. Times when I wish life came with a pause button. I’m a big believer in living in the moment, this moment. Not waiting for bigger and better things but enjoying the things that are right before me. Doesn’t mean I always do this but I am always aware of this. When Allen wanted a baby so badly and I didn’t want us to change it wasn’t because I didn’t think I could love a baby or because I wasn’t ready to be a mother. It was simply because I knew it meant that us would evolve into an us plus one. I struggled with the change and what it would mean.
So we waited and when we decided that we wanted to add to our family, I was ready. However, I still think about that us, two very different people than the people we are today.
We didn’t know love like we know now. While I was pregnant with Braylen I remember countless mothers telling me how special it would be when I first feasted my eyes upon that tiny little beauty, how I would love her with a love like nothing I’ve experience before. I didn’t quite get that, I’ll be honest. But at 1:53 PM in a cold operating room I felt a love that radiated a warmth inside my soul like nothing before.
It was a different love than the love I have for Allen. Not a greater love, a different love. It’s different with your husband because it’s a love that grows over time from the first awkward moment you meet. In the beginning, we went on a series of dates and through countless hours on the phone we learned each other. What we like, what we didn’t like, our fears, our strengths, our weaknesses. We both had a story to tell. Even now, we’re still figuring each other out.
But with Braylen, it was far different. She didn’t have a story to tell or a past that may not be fun to share. Our love for her came quick and without effort, it didn’t start small, it was bigger than life at first sight. She was unwritten when they placed her in my arms and she may have only weighed 6 pounds but the weight of responsibility that fell on us that day was greater than 6 tons. It was no longer about which diapers to use and whether or not the diaper bag was functional. This new us, this us plus one, somehow immediately felt absolutely perfect.
And here we are, nearly two years in. I can’t help but to think of us sometimes. The us who planned a vacation on a whim and had date nights in the middle of the week. Except then we didn’t call them date nights, and I’m sure we would have laughed at you had you told us we would one day need to actually plan to go see a movie. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of those crazy kids, they haven’t left, they’re just wearing a more responsible hat now.
Our new norm is us plus one and I’d be lying if I didn’t tell you that it is sweeter than I ever imagined. We’re living in this moment and we’re caught up in life; crazy, busy, life. Rarely do we talk about changing this dynamic to us plus one more and if I’m being honest I think we’re still a while away from that yet. I know I’ll love that season just as much as this one but for now we’re just enjoying the weather here, with our sweet plus one.
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Heather says
That was a precious post! Ya’ll are one of the most adorable families I love reading about! ๐
Lindsey says
This is a fabulous post Jennifer!! You never cease to amaze me at how you can balance being a working mom, a fabulous wife and put out some amazing reads on your blog! Thank you!!
LC says
As a wife expecting our first baby this June, I absolutely loved this post!!! Thank you for the insight:)
Lauren says
I just love this!!!!
Taylor says
Absolutely precious and so well written!!! I just love reading your blog! And you have such a beautiful family.
Britt โฅ says
LOVE this post…I can definitely see this being myself & C. I know it will be so different but I want to find that great balance where we still make time for us and our marriage is a priority too.
Emily says
I feel the same way! Perfectly content with our 1 sweet girl. When the time comes, it will be great but for now we are happy!
Happiness Is... says
I feel the same for the most part – sad that Thatcher is growing up even though I love every minute, sad for the “us” that is no more even though I like the new “us” better…I think being nostalgic comes with the territory.
Laura says
This is such a sweet post, Jennifer. ๐
Brittany says
I love this post. We have been talking much more about having kids in the near future and it’s scary! Who knows what life will be like when there’s another person in the house. I love the time J and I have together and I worry about changing that. Your post was very reassuring and it’s nice to know how others are feeling. Thank you!
Kat says
This is such a beautiful post and I can relate! I love the new us, although I often think about the “2” us.
Perfectly Imperfect says
Love this post ๐ I’m also perfectly content with our us plus one we’ve got going on right now. Who knows what the future might hold though.