I’ve spent the past few weeks being hard on myself. Really hard on myself. In the midst of running from the time my feet hit the ground in the morning until it’s time for bed, I can’t help but long for something else. When I open my calendar and see it completely filled from the first to the thirty-first, I can’t help but long for less.
Less running from place to place.
Less eating out.
But, what if my season doesn’t lend itself to less. What if I can’t shave a single thing from my calendar without giving up something we really need right now, without giving up something that brings joy, even in the midst of chaos. Dance class and Bible study, exercise and work, they all have a place right now. Church functions and family time, date nights and throwing parties for people who are special to me, they can’t go. Not right now.
Instead of worrying about all the things I wish were different, I’m going to focus on this life we have and all that it is, all that if gives me on a daily basis. This busy, sometimes messier than I like, perfectly imperfect season that we’re living in right now.
Our season is going to change soon, we’re going to welcome a new life into our family. Things will slow down, we’ll be home more. We’ll be busy, sure. Busy at home soaking in tender moments, adjusting to our new dynamic. Priorities will shift, summer will come, commitments will cease, even if it’s just for a little while. Even if it’s just for a season.
In the coming months, I’m going to live this busy. I’m going to take in every last bit of this busy season, of this season of three. Because right now we can be busy. We can go see movies and have play dates, those things that are difficult with a newborn, but not with just one three year old.
There is plenty of time for slow, there will be times when less seems normal. And looking way down the road, I know that someday my house will be more quiet than I’d like it to be. There will be less laundry and less mess.
But not now, not today. Today there is a toddler running to find an elf and begging to make cookies. There is a kitchen that already needs to be cleaned, so we’ll bake the cookies and make it a little messier.
And tonight, as we run from place to place, I won’t be overwhelmed with the busy, or wish for less.
This our busy season and we’re going to live it up.