I’m writing this post with a sleeping baby in my lap. I know I should probably put him down, but his hand is sweetly touching the side of my arm and when I start to lay him down his grip tightens just a bit. I know he won’t wake up, he’s a great sleeper. He’s content and laid back and everything I hoped my newborn would be.
I just can’t lay him down. Not right now.
When Braylen was born everyone was adamant that I should soak up this time. Don’t get me wrong here, of course I did. Against the premise that I might spoil her, against the premise that I might get her off schedule. I held her tightly.
I remember smelling of her sweet hair and closing my eyes tightly, willing myself to remember everything about these moments. The tiny sounds, her tiny fingers, the sleepy smiles. I wanted it all to be engrained to my very core.
It’s funny how having another newborn brings back those things, he does things and I’m instantly taken back to four short years ago when his sister did similar things.
And that’s where it gets bittersweet.
It’s different this time, I don’t need someone to tell me that it’ll go fast. I already know. Each stage seems to come and go at a lightening speed and there’s nothing I can do about the rate at which time passes. It’s life.
What can I do?
I can live each and every moment fully as the stages come and go. From these sleepy newborn days, to the long sleepless nights. While some moments may be trying, they are also fleeting.
These newborn days serve as a good reminder to soak up the days with BK, too. She’s only a little over a year away from kindergarten, and yet she seems like she should still be crawling up into my lap at bedtime each night.
Truly, it’s different this time around. We’ll stay in our pajamas more and enjoy these days at home. We’ll try to follow a schedule, but never to the point where it consumes us. And 20 years from now, I’ll look back on these days with joy, because even though time passes too quickly, I’ll know I gave them my best.
And because I’m smitten with these two, here’s a few recent pictures.