Allen and I celebrate our tenth anniversary today, for those of you who are great at math, that means I wasn’t far removed from high-school, and we were pretty clueless about being on our own. I often think about those two crazy kids, in love and determined. Sometimes, I wish I could go back and tell them a few things, but then again, it’s much more fun to figure it out on your own.
Dear us, ten years ago,
Today, you’ll say I do. People will tell you that you’re too young, they’re probably right.
Say, I do, anyway.
You won’t remember much of today, between the nerves and the whirlwind of well-wishers and photos, it will somehow blur together. Even though you’ll vow to remember it all. Every tiny detail. Look around at the people supporting you. Give them big hugs and tell them thank-you. Now, look around again and take it all in, every single precious face. You’re going to lose some of those along the way, and even if you don’t have time today, make time to tell them how much they mean to you.
All of those people standing beside you? You’ll only grow closer to some of them. The opposite will happen with a few, too. Remember, you’re marrying young, you have some growing up left to do, and so do your friends. I know you think you’ll go to college together and navigate the next chapter of your life, hand-in-hand. That just isn’t the case, your lives are about to fork, you may be going to college, but their college life and yours will look dramatically different.
Don’t even spend one second thinking about the differences, this life you’re choosing is going be greater than anything you could ever plan.
You’re going to spend some time making a home together. Quit rolling your eyes and complaining about that hand-me-down furniture. Embrace these days, in all their simplicity. One day you’ll be busy with children running around at your feet, iPhones buzzing, and you’ll think back to these days. Days when the biggest decision to make was Hamburger Helper or a frozen pizza for dinner, because you’ll soon learn neither of you really know anything about cooking.
Or bills and budgets, or any of the other things that can be filed under the real life column. Fear not, you’ll learn.
This is the point where I almost want to caution you not to purchase that old house with your big dreams and plans, but I can’t. You’ll stay up way too late laying way too dark hardwoods, and you’ll dream and scheme and make it just like you want. You’ll have a hard time selling that one, but you’ll learn some valuable lessons along the way.
I do want to caution you against purchasing that awfully expensive vacuum cleaner those two men knocked on your door to sell you. Ten years later, you’ll still be kicking yourself for that purchase.
Sometimes you’ll butt heads. You’ll make a promise together to never go to bed angry, and you’ll keep that promise even on nights when you’d rather face the wall silently. Stubbornness will be a barrier, tear it down. You’ll learn that you’re much stronger together, on the same page. You both have strong wills, let them work for you, or you’ll let them work against you.
Some days you’ll make tough decisions. Decisions that, no matter which path you take, you’ll find it dark and unfamiliar. Walk that path together.
You’ll teach each other many things along the way. You’ll grow up together, you’ll have babies and become parents together, you’ll love each other fiercely. Bringing a baby into the mix will threaten to shift that center of focus in your lives, and if you aren’t careful you may find yourselves going in opposite directions. Shift your focus together, you’ll find as long as you’re in it together, you’re never too far apart.
It won’t always be perfect, but I can say with confidence, you’ll learn to love and embrace those times.
You’ll write this letter to yourself, with a smile on your face as you think about those past ten years and look forward to the next ten years. You know all of those people who said, don’t do it? I am so happy you didn’t listen to them.
Be careful with each other. Let go of things quickly. Apologize when you mess up. Support each other. Above all, love each other well.
Love,
us, ten years later
P.S- Take a look, it’s a beautiful life…
Jennifer Frye says
I. Love. This!!!
Debra Smith says
I remember that day so very well.. I had been sick for several days and the Dr told me complete bed rest.. So I stayed in bed, but I didn’t rest because I was too busy crying my eyes out… Because I love you so very much, (you were always my princess). And I could not be there for your special day..
I have always been so proud of you and Allen for all the accomplishments these past 10 years.. Especially Braylen and Jud.. This was beautifully written and thanks for sharing.
Lindsay says
Happy Anniversary! This was beautiful!!
Melissa says
Precious! Happy anniversary!